AM: Today was a really bad day. We did a lap around sunnyside then went to the track. We did a mile warmup mile speed changes when we got there. Then we did 12 400s. The first couple felt really easy, then on like the 3rd or 4th one I couldn't breathe easily. By the end of each 400 it got worse. It was like having asthma all over again. On the last half I admit I was just taking it easy. I lost it mentally on #5. I got those negative thoughts. I realized how far back in the pack I was, and then I thought "how can I be working harder than people and then have those people beat me on the important days?" This is what made me lose it. The combination of not being able to breathe easily and crashing mentally is not a good one. I didn't do one of them and walked over to the drinking fountain because I felt like I had enough of this, and the rebellious me showed itself. Then I came back, and realized that I shouldn't be sitting out, not now, not when I've finally started to be up there. So I finished the last 2. I still couldn't breathe, but I at least did those last 2. You would not believe how many thoughts of "quit now, walk across the field and be done with this" ran through my mind, and honestly I don't know what drove me to finish each of the ones I had started. But I'm glad I did even if I was going super slow. I feel bad, I wish I could have done better. I wish I HAD done better. 90s aren't that hard. I wish I could do it over again. In fact, maybe I will. PM: I went to the track again, and did the speed over again. I had decided that I was going to do it right this time, or it was a waste. I ran to the track, then did a mile warmup, mile speed changes, and then started. I did 8, before it got dark and I had to go home. I wish I could've done the rest, I really do! i was supposed to hit 90 on each one. splits: 1) 93 2) 91 3) 87 4) 87 5) 88 6) 90 7) 92 8) 91 took 2 minutes of recovery in between each. Then I ran home.
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