Sock tans

Out and back on Foothill, 7:53 average. It was 91*, I’m grateful for the drinking fountain :)

My twin and I have been having a marvel movie marathon this weekend . It’s pretty sweet, though we’ve gotta skip a few movies because there are so many and not enough time! We thought it’d be fun to do before going to see Spider-Man: Far From Home tomorrow night.

No running

Meh

Partial VA loop. Didn’t feel great, I should probably stop taking time off.

Mmm...

I did Dikes and was feeling better than I expected to, so I continued over to the track and did Main Street loop to my house. I went super slow though, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt the long and slow type of tired. My legs started getting heavy about 6 miles in. Distance is my strength, I like going long a lot more than going 50% for 5 miles. Reminds me of my high school days when I went 70-80 miles in a week. I want to get back up to higher mileage.

I’ve decided to stay at SUU for one more semester and then transfer to BYU-Idaho in the spring. I’ve also decided to be done with college running but I will still be training on my own. I feel as though I put far too much pressure on myself when running with the team and become too anxious and uptight. I stress myself out and tend to berate myself when I’m not hitting the times or paces that I want to/feel as though I need to. Anxiety triggers my depression so for my mental health I think I need to ease up and lessen my load a little. I think this coming semester will help me ease back into things and it’ll be lighter in case I start to drop in my mood and end up needing more ECT treatments (hopefully I won’t need more and my medications seem to be holding up just fine, but you never know). Things will be more manageable if I can just relax and have fun and not stress myself out so much.

While I’m sad that my college running career has come to a close, I believe it is for the best. I would benefit more from running on my own and not having any pressure to run fast. I miss the feeling of accomplishment I used to get when deciding to work hard towards my goals, knowing I didn’t have to but I wanted to. If I stay with the team I think I’ll still place high expectations for myself without meaning to and feel guilty when I can’t reach them, as is my tendency.  I’m so grateful for how far I have come and for all of the experiences and memories. I never would’ve thought I’d end up where I am, it’s been an amazing journey.

Now that I have decided, I’m ready to dedicate myself more to running. I know, odd, but now that I know what I’m running for I can go from there with new things to work towards. And I’ll try to remember that I don’t have to be fast, that if I’m not in great shape that’s okay. I’m running because I want to and there are no expectations.

5.5 with Ashley Hawks on hospital, 7:30 average 

Mile out and back on main twice. I’d only planned on 2 since it was late but once I got into it I was more awake than I thought and felt like going more. My stomach was bugging a bit in mile 2 but it eased up after a mile

Met some of my teammates and other runners out at Millrace park- Angie got married today! She’s a stellar human for running on her wedding day, and planning it to be with her running buds by her side :) I was nervous because I didn’t feel like I was in shape enough to stay with a group of college runners/rather fit ex college runners. Especially since I hadn’t run since Tuesday and have been so sporadic with my running. Thankfully we went slow. Ran on the Jordan River Parkway. Averaged 7:37 for the first 3 miles. I turned at 2.75 to get to 5.5 miles. I thought I’d turn early and only go 4 with Morgan but I made it farther so that’s awesome :) breathing was harder than normal but I guess that’s to be expected. I felt a lot better than I thought I would. 

Break- yummy breakfast at a local place in Taylorsville/Murray- got some good old chocolate milk and a maple bar (it was heaven). Josh Collins dropped his full coffee cup right next to our table, picked it up thinking the lid was off, then it kept leaking and it took him a solid 5 second pause to realize the cup now had a hole in the bottom. Ha

Ran a mile with Penny, I was practically dragging her at the end. She reminded me of myself as an out of shape freshman in high school. It’s kinda fun running with a dog tho

Another mile with Opie, he did better than Penny and looked as though he could go a couple more miles. I was surprised because he’s a small dog, but on hindsight I’m not surprised because he’s always a ball of energy

Wonderful game of bowling at Angie’s reception, successfully doubled my overall score in the 10th frame with 2 strikes. Can’t you tell I’m a pro? I totally knocked some pins down

Main Street loop but turned up 300 W at the end. 8:04 average, I’m already feeling out of shape. Didn’t feel great. I’m hoping to get back into the habit of running every day. It’s so easy not to and it can be hard to get out the door when running isn’t your job anymore. At least it has been hard to as of late. It’s been about 8 weeks since I last ran every day of the week Monday-Saturday (I choose not to run on Sundays). Time to get remotivated and run more consistently

Main to Dikes then created a new route home through the neighborhood. 7:52 average

I submitted my application to BYU-I today, now I just have to wait to be accepted. It all comes down to which track I’m assigned to, if I’m assigned fall/winter then I’ll be moving to Idaho by the beginning of September, if I’m assigned to winter/spring or spring/fall then I’ll probs do one more semester at SUU. 

No running today. 

And that was fast! I was accepted into BYU-I! Now they just have to assign me to a track. Apparently it’s a separate process. That’ll determine when I’ll be going.

I ran with Ashley Hawks again, we talked more about professional running and what’s going on for she and Hayden. It was interesting. Hayden runs for Alta.

I only did 3.5 because I was dying. I don’t think I drank enough water today and it was very hot and windy. 7:48 average. 

I decided to run a half marathon with Kacey and Ashley (different Ashley- I roomed with her and she was also on the team my freshman year). We agreed to stick together, Kacey definitely had more in him but was really kind and hung back with us :) it really helped me, he was chatting it up with everyone around us even through the end so that kept me distracted. I love the running community- everyone’s so friendly

We all hadn’t trained for it and just made it our goal to finish under 2 hours. I didn’t want to race it out of fear of crashing and burning. So I just ran it at a comfortable pace. We really just ran it for fun :) Ashley and I decided on going 8:30 pace, maybe faster. I knew I’d be able to hold 8:30s and at least finish, so it helped me to relax. I wasn’t registered for the race so I ghosted it. About 3 minutes before the start of the race I ran the first quarter mile and then stopped to wait for the crowd. I spotted Ashley and Kacey after the gun went off and started back up once they got to me. We were running with the 1:50 pacer and talked with her for a bit. After about a half mile Ashley, Kacey and I had picked it up without really meaning to, but we all felt comfortable at the pace we were running. First mile was 7:58, then we picked it up a tiny bit more and came through the second mile at 7:41. I was a little nervous because it was a faster pace than I’d expected to go and was worried I’d hit a wall and die at the end, but it did feel pretty comfortable so I just went with it.

The next couple miles seemed to fly by, it just felt so good. We were passing people and catching up to the next pacer. I took a couple water cups from the different water stations, the first one nearly choking on because I forgot how to chug and run at the same time. But by the third I got it :) We were under 7:50 pace for the first 6 miles.

Around 7.5 in a good hill came up and after running on flat pavement for a few miles it looked daunting. I just went off of feel. Kacey was about 10m in front of me at the top and Ashley about 20m behind me. We grouped back up and enjoyed the slight downhill. Then another hill, this one less steep but longer. Grouped back up again at the top. At this point Kacey was chatting with a guy we’d caught up to that was from Washington, in Utah to see family. It distracted me :)

9 miles in I was getting tired. Just over 2 miles left, I was struggling. About a mile left, I hit a mental barrier. My legs were dead. I stopped for about a minute and tried to motivate myself to finish and run this last mile. A guy passed me right when I stopped and said, “You’re almost done! Take a walk for a sec and keep going!” I said okay and did just that hahaha :) 

So at the last turn into the finish chute I veered out into the road to run right past those standing and cheering. I got some weird looks, but I wasn’t wearing a bib so no one said anything. The course was short about .1, so I ran until my watch said 13.1. I was dead afterwards. Ashley and I could hardly walk for a solid 15 minutes, but we walked for over a mile after so now I can walk at a normal pace :)

It was a fun experience! First half marathon in the books :) next time I’ll actually train for one and race it!

I got my track assignment today! I’ll be on the fall/winter track starting this September. Which means I have a lot to figure out. 

I’ll be moving back to Salt Lake next week. I’m going to move in with one of my besties since kindergarten because my parents are remodeling our basement, I’m actually so stoked! It’s going to be so fun. Her husband is in the military and just got deployed a couple weeks ago so I think living together will be good for both of us. That’s got to be a very difficult thing, I know it’s been hard for her. Huge thank you to all those who serve our country!

Not sure if I’ll run today. I want to, but I’m just so swamped. It might be good to rest a little more, though my legs feel surprisingly good. 

.6 up main (6:48 pace) then relaxed and ran back. It was late so I saw some more fireworks as I ran. My stomach was killing me on the way back and I needed sleep. This was more of a shakeout than anything, I just went out and ran hard uphill until my mind was clearer.

Canyon, 8:00 average.

Running is starting to feel more relaxing and enjoyable, less mundane or like a chore. It’s been a long time since I’ve been excited to go out for a run. I think taking some time to relax, run when I want to, and not run when I’m not feeling it has helped me to get some of that enjoyment back.

I’ve been surprised because I’ve expected to feel more out of shape because of all the time I’ve been taking off. But I feel great! Respirations are easy and smooth, cardio is fine, legs feel fresh and loose, ROM is still good, and energy level was great. I honestly felt like I could’ve run 8-10 miles, until my gut started hurting. I think my body’s trying to tell me to eat healthier.

I think I’m going to try to run more miles and be more consistent now, but I still want to keep it at the level where I enjoy running and it’s not just another thing to check off of my to-do list.

7:55 average. I wasn’t originally going to go running. I went just to clear my mind. I stopped about 2 miles in, laid down on the sidewalk and looked at the stars for a minute. It was calming. I even saw a shooting star. Then I got up and ran back home. For those who don’t know Cedar basically shuts down at 10pm. I ran at 11:30 so hardly anyone was out. I’m gonna miss this kind of solitude, it’s very peaceful. And Cedar is a pretty safe town, my whole time living here we hardly even bothered to lock our front doors. Nothings ever been stolen, but then again who wants to steal from college students? We hardly have anything worth stealing, unless you want our debt

No running today, I pushed it off and pushed it off until it was too late. As has happened a lot lately. Dang, I’d wanted to run every day this week. Oh well, tonight I went to see Every Brilliant Thing at the Utah Shakespeare Festival with my friend who works there. She gets free tickets :) It was really good. They’re going to show it to every high school in Utah because of the high rate of suicides among teens, especially in Utah. I think it’s pretty cool that they’re doing that. 

Canyon, 7:32 average. It was very hot and windy. I went at the hottest time of day because I decided I probably shouldn’t put it off or I’d most likely end up not running. I’ve got a lot to do today.

Dikes, 7:35 average. It was a lot cooler today, very humid. Overcast and it had previously rained, but I just so happened to run during a window of no rain. I love the smell after a downpour.

Moving day! Farewell Cedar. I’ll be in Salt Lake for almost a month and a half before I move to Rexburg, BYUI has a “move in day” and this semester it’s September 13th.