I did about a mile of warmup, then did strides at the line. I started out pretty good, towards the front of the pack. I think it was actually one of my best starts because I wasn't going out way fast, but I made my way up to the front. That seemed to help me. Then I had made it to 3rd, and I just tried to relax and keep the pace. It felt kinda nice to actually be racing my hardest again, weirdly. It hurt, but it felt good to know I was pushing. At the mile I looked at the time and it was around 6:15. I told myself "Great, goal pace, keep it up." but I crashed and slowed way down. I regret it. I would've done so much better if I had stayed in contact. I now know that I just have to push through it, and then it will get to be a little easier when the others start to crash. I just have to hold on and keep going, no matter what. The 2nd mile seemed the worst. I crashed and went slow. The slower parts of the race are the ones you remember the most, at least for me, and those actually seem to hurt more than the faster parts when you look back at it. The 3rd mile I reminded myself that the race wasn't over yet and that I could still do well, so I picked it up. At the Diamond thing was where I got my confidence and really sped up. This is where I reminded myself that you have to accept the pain, so I finally did. Down that hill and on from there, I was pushing myself harder than I have in a while. I tried as hard as I could to get myself in the top 10. That last 300 I started kicking, and with 200 left I was full on sprinting. I have never hurt that bad...ever. I wanted it so bad I made myself give all I had. It made me realize that THIS is how it feels to race your hardest. Too bad I didn't catch the girl, and even if I did I still wouldn't have been top 10, but at the time I believed if I did I WOULD be, and I think it was good that I did otherwise I would not have pushed as hard at the end. I just need to work on that 2nd mile, and I need to get past this mental part. I think that there is going to be a really good race soon, and I am going to combine all of these little things and pull off a great race.
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