Ran 2 miles, 7:24 average. Then biked 25 minutes, 4.8 miles
Things are looking up. My manager let me off work early yesterday because it was slow so that was amazing, I was able to spend the rest of the day trying to figure things out. After a solid 4 hours of thinking and praying and a long phone call with my mom, I asked one of my friends to come over and give me a priesthood blessing. Holy cow it was one of the most powerful blessings I’ve ever received. Right after James was like whoa and said he’d never felt that while giving a blessing before. God is real.
The situation hasn’t changed at all but I’m feeling a whole lot better about everything. I know that SUU is where I’m meant to be, at least for the time being. I was told that God is aware of my stresses about my femur and about something else very personal (and there’s no way James could’ve known about that). That was really, really amazing. It was also said that God doesn’t always change our circumstances because he has to respect others agency, since it is his gift to us and essential to his plan, but he will help us to overcome them. That applies to a couple different things in my life right now. But I don’t know what exactly that might mean for running, if that means God will help me to finish the progression run or if he has a different plan for me in mind, but I do know that whatever happens now is in God’s hands, who ultimately knows what is best for me. There was a whole lot of other revelation too but I think that’ll suffice for this blog entry.
So going forward, I will work my hardest on the bike and with the couple miles I can run and then hope for the best. I’m not going to push my recovery, I’m going to listen to my body and to my athletic trainers. Running myself into the ground isn’t going to do anything, I’ll still find myself in a tough spot with coach when the pain becomes unbearable to run on and it could end up pushing me back further than if I just let myself heal.
After all is said and done, I’ll know that I worked my hardest, did what I could, and if that’s not enough then I’ll know that God has something different in mind for me this next semester. Running isn’t everything, after all. Perhaps a new opportunity will open up in place of running, if it comes to that.
Still have to figure out my career plans, but I’ll save that for another day and just enjoy this moment of clarity for a bit.