Sock tans Running Blog at FastRunningBlog.Com Tue, 07 Apr 2020 00:19:43 FeedCreator 1.7.2 Mon, Apr 06, 2020 <p>Out and back on Foothill. First mile sucked, my lungs hurt. But then after that is was okay, my legs felt great and it was awesome to get outside. The last mile I picked it up and my legs felt it. I&#39;m a bit sore from it actually. I&#39;m out of shape currently, I mean it&#39;s been a long time since I&#39;ve been consistent with running. I hope to be more consistent over the next couple of weeks and get back into the swing of things and allow my body to ease back into it.&nbsp;</p> Mon, 06 Apr 2020 06:00:00 Sat, Apr 04, 2020 <p>It&#39;s been a crazy week, I&#39;m still in the hospital. I&#39;m set to discharge tomorrow. I got a fever and what does that mean? Quarantine! Got the full workup and&nbsp;was&nbsp;greeted with the blue gowns, masks and everything for almost 2&nbsp;days. I just barely got released from quarantine maybe 25 minutes ago&nbsp;(so around&nbsp;9:20pm).&nbsp;I wasn&#39;t allowed outside of my room.&nbsp;Got tested for COVID-19 and it came back negative, then got tested for Influenza A and B and both were negative as well, which is all good news. However, my parents are very cautious and want me to be quarantined once I go home as well, because they&#39;re not sure how reliable a negative test result is for COVID-19 what with it being such a new virus and all. My dad says I could&#39;ve been tested too early or something, that a fever coming and going and coming again is one of the signs. I also have a stuffy nose and when I tried running earlier this week (found out about an outdoor courtyard and took advantage running laps) my throat/chest hurt and I started wheezing slightly. So, we&#39;ll be cautious. Mostly because my grandpa is going through cancer treatments and my&nbsp;dad wants to be able to go see him if he needs him and know he&#39;s COVID free (they&#39;ve created a safe environment at home as they&#39;ve been self-isolating for a few weeks now).</p> <p>As for mental health, I&#39;m doing a lot better. My lithium levels were tested this morning and came back at 0.5, which is just under the therapeutic range. I believe the therapeutic range is 0.6-1.2. I&#39;m taking lithium as a mood stabilizer (which is apparently much stronger than Latuda, one of the strongest mood stabilizers and most effective for bipolar disorder), as well as a doubled dose of Latuda, from what I was taking prior to this hospital visit. I feel much more stable now and more like myself, which is all very positive. I&#39;ve been here for 11.5 days now and the longer time period is to make sure I leave here with my medications managed at a level that will keep me from bouncing&nbsp;back to another hospital visit. My doctors and I are confident that we are now at that point, which is awesome. I really feel like things are going to be different from here on out and I&#39;m glad to have finally figured out something that manages both my depressive and hypomanic states. Being hypomanic is awesome until&nbsp;my mood&nbsp;drops, and even then it negatively impacts my life when it leads me to making impulsive decisions. So to have that figured out really is a true blessing.</p> Sat, 04 Apr 2020 06:00:00 Fri, Mar 27, 2020 <p>I was readmitted to the hospital on Tuesday, this time at the University Neuropsychiatric Unit, 4 North AKA the suicidal unit. Wooo. Anyways, I think this time is different, it&#39;s been helpful to be here. I&#39;ve learned a lot of new things and am having my medications tweaked, the psychiatrist said that no one really stays at the dose that&nbsp;I was on, that it was a starter dose. So they doubled it. The tricky part is knowing when I&#39;m okay to go home because depression/bipolar meds don&#39;t typically kick in for a few weeks. But the one I&#39;m on typically you feel the effects quicker than others so that&#39;s a positive, plus it&#39;s a good medication on its own. It does its job well, according to my psychiatrist. It&#39;s just a newer medication and therefore very pricey. Meh but if it keeps me functional it&#39;s worth it.</p> <p>At this point we&#39;re thinking I&#39;ll be discharged Monday, but we will see. I&#39;m seeing a psychologist/therapist everyday, as well as a dietician who will help me with my eating habits. Also the psychiatrist and a social worker every day. And then we have group therapy all throughout the day every day, so it&#39;s a great place to get the help&nbsp;I need. It&#39;s a little different to be back a year later and not have my mind groggy from ECT treatments.</p> <p>I&#39;m doing better and slowly but surely finding the drive to want to help myself. I&#39;ve needed help learning how I can best do that but I&#39;m learning. And I&#39;ve felt more motivation come back even just in the past couple of days, and now I have a goal in life once more. Something to work towards- becoming a recreational therapist. I sort of lost sight of that/ wasn&#39;t so sure if I wanted to do it, but I&#39;ve met a couple recreational therapists in the past few weeks and they have been very, very helpful to me. I want to be able to help others the way they have me, and I feel as though it&#39;s a measureable goal I can achieve. I do doubt myself a little bit because my parents have suggested that the traditional way of going away to college might not be a plausible option for me anymore because I&#39;ve struggled in school so much the past 2 years, but at the same time I don&#39;t want to just give up. I&#39;ve learned about better resources that can help me and if I can get my depression/bipolar stuff under control I know I&#39;ll be capable of a lot more. So, really, my focus right now should be on getting better, but I&#39;m grateful to have somewhere else to go when I&#39;ve achieved that, or at least a goal.</p> Fri, 27 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Thu, Mar 19, 2020 <p>VA loop. I feel really lethargic.&nbsp;</p> Thu, 19 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Wed, Mar 18, 2020 <p>I used today&#39;s earthquake as an excuse not to run. It was 5.7 in magnitude, largest aftershock was 4.6</p> Wed, 18 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Tue, Mar 17, 2020 <p>Millie and Tessa wanted to go running today so I took them out for a run :) they made it 1.25 miles at about 11:15/mile pace, it was farther than I thought they&#39;d go. I was impressed their tiny legs made it haha. Anyways, then I added two more miles. I think my meds make me tired cuz I&#39;ve been exhausted the past little bit. My ankle/foot was bugging a little.</p> Tue, 17 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Mon, Mar 16, 2020 <p>Wasatch loop, 7:42 average. Felt decent, though I&#39;m definitely out of shape. Slowly but surely I&#39;ll get back into it, I&#39;ve just got to be consistent. Salt Lake is so much nicer out than Rexburg haha. It was almost in the 60s</p> Mon, 16 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Sat, Mar 14, 2020 <p>Out and back on VA loop. Sawyer drove down from Rexburg today and I rode back with him so I could get my car back. It was probably my last time seeing a lot of my Rexburg friends, seeing as I most likely won&#39;t be going back to BYUI. We hiked Antelope island before heading back</p> Sat, 14 Mar 2020 06:00:00 Thu, Mar 12, 2020 <p>I was discharged from the hospital today. It was suuuuper nice outside, almost 60 degrees! So I went running. I&#39;m super out of shape tho.</p> <p>Strange to get out of the hospital and see that the world is in shambles because of the coronavirus. All of the colleges are now strictly online, including BYUI. All of my friends are heading back home. All NCAA competitions have been cancelled as well, strange to think about what it would&#39;ve been like had I stayed at SUU.</p> <p>Never before have I felt so lost and uncertain about the future. Usually I like to have an idea of what the next x months will look like, I don&#39;t even know what&#39;s going to happen a month from now. For now, I&#39;m just grieving because of the mental illness I have. I didn&#39;t know it would affect my life so much. I&#39;ve felt a lot of guilt and shame because of it, but my mom put it in perspective by pointing out that if my sister had leukemia they wouldn&#39;t be frustrated with her, it&#39;s out of her control. Just as my mental illness is out of mine. I didn&#39;t help manage it this year like I should&#39;ve and there&#39;s some frustration there because of that, but overall I wouldn&#39;t have chosen to be where I am right now.</p> <p>The good news is that I&#39;ve been diagnosed with bipolar II disorder, which is better than bipolar I. It means I&#39;m more likely to be able to function well in society. I&#39;ve only experienced hypomanic episodes, but if I were to experience a full-fledged manic episode I&#39;d then be diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. I&#39;m still on the wait list to see a neurologist, the doctors determined that my memory issues don&#39;t require immediate attention. It&#39;ll actually be better to wait a few weeks before getting them addressed because it could be explained by fetal alcohol syndrome, ECT treatments, and my instability due to bipolar depression. If I can get my mood stabilized that&#39;ll help them to know what&#39;s more an&nbsp;underlying issue vs. a symptom of my bipolar disorder.&nbsp;</p> <p>I&#39;m very grateful to Sawyer for calling my family and getting me the help I needed. Our future has been put on hold, now&#39;s not really the time to be making any major decisions like wedding plans. First I need to get healthy, then we can talk about the future. I won&#39;t be going back to BYUI (we&#39;ve decided that the traditional way of going away to college just isn&#39;t something I can do right now, I&#39;ll be looking at other options. Either transitioning to working full-time or doing BYU pathway so I can go at my own pace and work on it from home, or transferring to a more local university or college so I can commute).&nbsp;so I&#39;m really not sure what I&#39;m going to be doing from now on. But everything will work out in the end, one way or another.&nbsp;</p> Thu, 12 Mar 2020 06:00:00