SUU Cross Country/Track Running Blog at FastRunningBlog.Com http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/ Sat, 15 Dec 2018 23:59:33 FeedCreator 1.7.2 Sat, Dec 15, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-15-2018.html <p>Biked 3ish miles between my house and Yoli&rsquo;s. She ran a mile with me then turned cause she had somewhere to be and I just kept going. Ran up towards the temple. I was tired today, I think I&rsquo;m dehydrated. And I was woken up at 4am, I was so confused&nbsp;what was going on&nbsp;lol that&rsquo;s probably got something to do with it. 7:19 average</p> <p>It&rsquo;s wedding season again. Haha, I&rsquo;m&nbsp;the&nbsp;old fart that won&rsquo;t conform to this trend :) I&rsquo;m excited, weddings are fun! It&rsquo;s the norm&nbsp;now like,&nbsp;there goes another one. What&rsquo;s&nbsp;weird though is all these pregnancy announcements like, didn&rsquo;t you guys just get married? Utah lol</p> Sat, 15 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Fri, Dec 14, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-14-2018.html <p>Started from my house- Main + Canyon.&nbsp;7:11 average. Calves are sore from yesterday. Hip flexor feels good!</p> <p>Finals are finally OVER! I&rsquo;m so excited to go home to Salt Lake tomorrow.&nbsp;</p> Fri, 14 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Thu, Dec 13, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-13-2018.html <p>That was a lot longer than intended... I&rsquo;d planned for 6-8 lol. Started out on Dikes then decided once I got to the light on Main to do a few pickups. Did 8x2 minute pickups with 2 minutes rest. Ended up going up Canyon, finished my last rest and then ran into Angie, Morgan Taylor and Ashley Hawks. Turned and joined them going back up Canyon then finished to the track. Ended up being 11 miles even. 7:06 average for all 11.</p> <p>Averaged 6:21 pace&nbsp;pickups/7:41 pace&nbsp;rest. A lot of mix with uphill and downhill in there. Feel good about it, good day.&nbsp;</p> <p>I&rsquo;m stoked because over winter break I&rsquo;ll be meeting up with Angie and&nbsp;Garek.&nbsp;&nbsp;Garek is running for Texas right now, I haven&rsquo;t seen him since last Christmas break. I&rsquo;m excited to see him</p> <p>Also, I&rsquo;m feeling really good about where I&rsquo;m at fitness-wise. We have 3 weeks of break before classes and practice start up again. I haven&rsquo;t been very focused on running these last couple weeks more just going through the motions, and yet something has just clicked I think. 50% pace used to be a struggle for me, 7:30 average used to feel too fast (ahem freshman year self) and 7:45 felt comfortable.&nbsp;This week I didn&rsquo;t try to go fast. It just felt normal. Ashley Hawks said to me today that she struggled her first couple of years here too, but she kept pushing through and one day out of nowhere things just clicked and she had a breakthrough. That seems to be the theme with a lot of women on the team. So I&rsquo;m excited because I&rsquo;m ready for my breakthrough, maybe this year&#39;s the year! Time to roll</p> <p>Going to start being more proactive in doing core, rehab, taking my supplements, staying hydrated, getting enough sleep etc to be sure I&rsquo;m ready for whatever Coach has planned in&nbsp;January</p> Thu, 13 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Wed, Dec 12, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-12-2018.html <p>Heated my hip flexor then did rehab before running.&nbsp;Main + Canyon, 7:13 average. First time in a while&nbsp;that my hip flexor hasn&rsquo;t been that painful both before and after the run.&nbsp;</p> <p>Also- hips&nbsp;have been misaligned a lot lately. My right one is always the one tilted back or to the side, and it&rsquo;s my right side that is noticeably weaker while doing rehab. Drew and Stephanie got after me again for skipping out on rehab for several weeks cause now my hips are screwy again. Haha, yeah lesson learned- just because all feels good you don&rsquo;t stop rehab.&nbsp;I&rsquo;ll keep doing it&nbsp;over winter break so they can actually stay in place once the season is underway.&nbsp;</p> Wed, 12 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Tue, Dec 11, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-11-2018.html <p>Ran with Madison and Morgan, 7:26 average. Hip flexor hurt pretty bad at&nbsp;the end. Knee was fine though lol. Drew got a release out of both flexors. Right one still hurt but was better than before I think. That was so painful, but worth it</p> Tue, 11 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Mon, Dec 10, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-10-2018.html <p>7:10 average. Hip flexor hurt especially towards the end, knee stiffened up and hurt pretty bad a few minutes after I stopped. Game readied it (this thing is so cool btw, haha pun intended)</p> <p>As I&rsquo;ve thought more about it, I&rsquo;m kind of glad I&rsquo;m in the 800 group this year. I think it&rsquo;ll be the best for me because, as coach said way back when, it&rsquo;s just getting me to relearn how to go fast. I can hold a pace for a long time, that&rsquo;s always been one of my stronger suits. When I&rsquo;m in good shape and when I&rsquo;m&nbsp;mentally tough and focused, that is. I just need to build confidence in myself, believe that I&rsquo;m fast and&nbsp;have the ability to run fast times. When I believe that, that&rsquo;s when I push myself harder and risk going faster just to test what I can do. Sometimes I blow up and die hard. But sometimes if it&rsquo;s just right, I end up running pretty quick times, or can even it out more next time knowing that I can run fast if I want to. Anyways, the 800 group will be good because it&rsquo;ll help me to learn how to push through fast pain and not be scared of dying so much. And it&rsquo;ll remind me to open up and push harder, faster and not necessarily longer because I&rsquo;m already good at going long.&nbsp;</p> Mon, 10 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Sat, Dec 08, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-08-2018.html <p>Drew only wanted me to go 6, whoops. 7:29 average.&nbsp;My hip flexor has been painful</p> Sat, 08 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Fri, Dec 07, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-07-2018.html <p>6 with Yoli, 7:28 average&nbsp;</p> Fri, 07 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Thu, Dec 06, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-06-2018.html <p>I&#39;ve been thinking a lot lately and I&#39;ve realized a few things:</p> <p>1. While I&#39;ve been running at SUU (or at least these last two years) I&#39;ve been running with a deflated spirit, believing I&#39;m not good enough and don&#39;t measure up to these girls, as though I&#39;m somehow inferior and won&#39;t ever achieve my goals</p> <p>2. Your attitude affects how you feel about things. Having a positive attitude doesn&#39;t mean you&#39;ll be happy all the time, but it&#39;s choosing to focus on the good things and reminding yourself of them and why they make you happy.</p> <p>So, I&#39;m going to try to fix my mentality. Maybe that&#39;s what&#39;s been holding me back all this time. From now on I&#39;m going to:</p> <p>1. Start believing in myself and allow myself to get excited about workouts. I&#39;ve had this attitude of, &quot;yes, I ran one good time but then I died&quot; for like this whole season. As I was talking with Paul on Monday, he told me my workout last week was really good. I didn&#39;t realize it until then, but I&#39;d believed it wasn&#39;t actually that great and coach was going to use it as more reason to back up the belief that I&#39;m not good enough, because I&#39;d been focusing on the 400s that were slow, instead of looking at it in a positive light. Paul said, well, it was tough! We haven&#39;t done 400s after any 1000s this season until then. I ran 3:46, 3:32, 3:42. At the beginning of the season I ran 3:55, 4:06, 4:12. That right there shows lots of improvement. My 400s this week were a faster average than I think all the 400 workouts I&#39;ve done at SUU. Yes, there were only 6, but I also ran 12 in 82 average not too long ago, and that is also one of the best workouts I&#39;ve had here. In high school I did average 75s for 12x400s once, and 78-80 did feel relaxed and I could hit those pretty easy. But that was also at the end of my best season. Right now it&#39;s 81-82 that feels fairly easy and I can hit them like clockwork, and 78s for the quicker 400s where I&#39;m pushing hard. I&#39;m not all that far off and that&#39;s a whole lot closer than I&#39;ve been, so I&#39;m getting there I just have to be patient. All anyone can ask is that I try my best to be better today than I was yesterday, give my all and work hard. And when I think about it, I think I could break 5:20 this season if I work hard, so I&#39;m excited to see if I can pull it off.</p> <p>2. Instead of relying on others to tell me I&#39;m doing great, instead of looking to them for validation that I&#39;m fast enough, I&#39;m going to start believing in myself. I didn&#39;t realize how critical I&#39;ve been. Something I&#39;ve been thinking about lately is this: would you tell others the same things you tell yourself? In my case, no I wouldn&#39;t. I would never tell someone they&#39;re not good enough, I&#39;d never tell them that their efforts are in vain and they should just give up. Because I don&#39;t believe that, I believe that with hard work anyone can accomplish their dreams. And yet, why have I had such a hard time believing that as it applies to me? I don&#39;t know. Because I&#39;m so self-critical and I need to be kinder to myself, I&#39;m a person too, lol.</p> <p>I have learned a lot in my time as a runner. I have the knowledge, I just need to apply it. My high school coach was there every step of the way to tell me I was doing well and would get after me when I&#39;d go on a tangent as to why I wasn&#39;t good enough. He&#39;d nip it in the butt and tell me no, you ran these times in workouts, this shows you&#39;re capable of more than you think. I think I&#39;d lost that sense of positivity when I came to SUU. I still looked for the positive aspects of training, but I haven&#39;t been very positive with myself. My coaches have been some of the most positive influences on me while I&#39;ve been here, they have a great approach, but I can&#39;t rely on them to always correct my negative mentality. I need to fix it myself. They&#39;ve done a great job of teaching me the principles, of being positive and trying to get us to be as well, but I haven&#39;t allowed myself to truly apply them and feel their affect.</p> <p>So, in an attempt to be more positive, I&#39;m going to be kinder to myself and stop being so critical. If I can&#39;t believe in myself, how can I expect anyone else to?</p> <p>1. I AM strong enough. I&#39;ve earned my spot on the team just like anyone else has.</p> <p>2. I&#39;ve endured through years of setbacks and difficulties. I&#39;m still here pushing through while the overwhelming majority of my incoming class decided to be done running collegiately, some even quit after one semester.</p> <p>3. I&#39;m running really well right now. My 50%s feel easy, I don&#39;t have to try that hard to run sub-7:40 average where in high school that would be considered a good day for a recovery run. Back then I was averaging more like 7:50-8:15 on recovery days. So that shows improvement, too.</p> <p>4. I have just as much an opportunity to improve here as I did in high school, if not more. I have more resources available to me than I did back then.</p> <p>5. I do have a fighting spirit, I just have to ignite it.</p> <p>6. I can improve off of my high school times THIS SEASON if I set my mind to it. Paul said to go for a 5:10 mile first, then work towards 5:00. I still have a hard time believing I could run sub-5:10 within the next couple of months, but I&#39;ll tell myself I can until I do believe it. I know I can run sub-5:20 this year. And within the next 2 years I can achieve my dream of running under 5:00 in the mile. I have the footspeed. I have the determination, patience, and endurance. I AM a good athlete, otherwise I never would&#39;ve recieved a scholarship in the first place. I just need to practice, and practice, and practice. Build up my strength. Work hard. Then great things will happen.</p> Thu, 06 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Wed, Dec 05, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-05-2018.html <p>Had my swim final today, made it 850 yds&nbsp;(lol I&rsquo;m definitely a runner, not a swimmer). The&nbsp;breathing is what got me.&nbsp;And apparently I kick like a runner haha.&nbsp;I was surprised how tiring it was. I probably should&rsquo;ve run today, but I had no motivation. It was probably good to rest my hip flexor. Just have to power through one more week,&nbsp;my motivation to do anything is so low right now.&nbsp;</p> Wed, 05 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Tue, Dec 04, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-04-2018.html <p>Mile warmup then went to the training room to check hip alignment, pretty far off today. Hip was rotated back and down/out to the side, got two good pops and it was back closer to normal. Not right on but a lot better than it was. Haha Drew was telling Stephanie of the time in Idaho where he realigned them and got the loudest pop in the hotel hallway that sounded like a gunshot hahaha good times</p> <p>Anyways strides then started. The workout was originally going to be 10x400s with 90 seconds rest (goal pace 75-80),&nbsp;but it was so cold and we were all hitting slower times than I think Coach expected so Coach told us (meaning Jacey, Brighton and I and the 10+ guys also doing the workout)&nbsp;after we&rsquo;d done a couple&nbsp;that we were only going to do 6. I was pumped about that haha, I&rsquo;d been holding back a little to start slower and reserve my energy for the end, and to stay relaxed. It was what felt comfortable. Once he said that I thought sweet! Time to push. Eh. Maybe my &ldquo;push&rdquo; still needs to be taken down a notch so I can hold it lol</p> <p>Also Brighton ran with us today and it was so nice to have her there to pace&nbsp;with.</p> <p>Times went 81, 82, 78, 74, 77, 79. So&nbsp;78.5 average. I still need to relearn how to go fast lol but I&rsquo;m coming along</p> <p>Then cooled down 4 miles. Was planning on 5 but my right hip flexor was hurting a lot so I called it. I&rsquo;m super tight in my hips, Drew&nbsp;got a release in my piriformis&nbsp;and then I iced and we called it for today. Will start exercises up again tomorrow, Drew and Stephanie got after me for not coming in to do them for a few weeks lol my bad</p> Tue, 04 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Mon, Dec 03, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-03-2018.html <p>7:32 average, sooo cold. Had to take it slow on&nbsp;some parts because of ice</p> <p>Decided to talk to Paul today after classes because I couldn&rsquo;t focus at all and was so&nbsp;stressed and depressed that I knew I wouldn&rsquo;t get anything done if I didn&rsquo;t take&nbsp;steps towards getting more help. He walked me over&nbsp;to CAPS because of the severity of what&rsquo;s been going on, Paul&rsquo;s so great. I&rsquo;ve never been to CAPS before, they got me in for a crisis screening something or another (wasn&rsquo;t expecting that).&nbsp;The guy was really blunt and straightforward and kinda pushy&nbsp;but it was nice to just be honest and let it out. My twin&nbsp;brother is suicidal. He calls me when he&rsquo;s super low&nbsp;so that&rsquo;s a blessing. But like Paul said, I&rsquo;m just waiting for the call I don&rsquo;t want. So that&rsquo;s been weighing heavy on my mind.&nbsp;The guy said I can call 911 if I think&nbsp;he might attempt it one night, even if I&rsquo;m 200 miles away.</p> <p>I will probably get lined up for some medication within the next couple weeks, because even though a lot of it&rsquo;s caused by situational stressors, I&rsquo;ve been in and out of depression for years and was diagnosed 2 years ago and was put on medication back then. I ran into road blocks with it but I think it&rsquo;s worth another try. And I think it&rsquo;d help with my anxiety, too.</p> Mon, 03 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Sat, Dec 01, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-01-2018.html <p>7:37 average</p> Sat, 01 Dec 2018 07:00:00 Fri, Nov 30, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-30-2018.html <p>Ran with Yoli. Chest felt tight, weird? 7:42 average</p> Fri, 30 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Thu, Nov 29, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-29-2018.html <p>7:39 average. Sooo windy. Got a bloody nose at mile 5, had to use my shirt to soak up the blood cause it wouldn&rsquo;t stop. A guy in a truck stopped and&nbsp;asked if I was ok, I probably looked a mess haha. There are some nice people in Cedar City</p> Thu, 29 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Wed, Nov 28, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-28-2018.html <p>5 miles. After 2 miles I picked it up, it felt good to run it out. Splits were 7:45, 7:59, 6:44, 6:45, 6:46. 7:13 average.</p> <p>Today was a pretty bad day for depression. Couldn&#39;t get myself to go to weights or classes. I forced myself to go to swim class in the afternoon. That&#39;s got to count for something. I didn&#39;t even want to run but I forced myself to go out for that, too, after swim. I also did a bit of cleaning around the house. I got none of the important things I needed to done, but at least I did something? Sigh. I still don&#39;t want to do anything. I&#39;m tired and sad and have no motivation.</p> <p>I might try medication again soon. My next meeting with the sports psychologist is next week. I&#39;ve been meeting with him a lot this semester. Who knows maybe one day I&#39;ll find the right medication and it&#39;ll no longer be such an issue. I gave up trying to find the right one around this time last year because of the side effects.</p> <p>The sports psychologist pointed out that the things happening in my life are enough to cause anyone to grieve or stress out (and it&#39;s not just running/school/work). But my depression and anxiety cause me to get wrapped up in them, to the point of not eating or overeating or missing appointments or not being able to focus or not having the energy or motivation to do the things I need to. Really it makes it nearly impossible to function like normal. This summer I didn&#39;t eat much. Got my appetite back at the end of the summer/beginning of the semester, but I can feel it leaving again. When I&#39;m particularly stressed sometimes I turn to food and eat and eat to feel better, but that happens less than missing meals.</p> <p>I&#39;m learning how to refocus and bring my thoughts back to what I&#39;m doing instead of letting my anxiety skyrocket. I&#39;m still terrible at it, but Ron said it&#39;s a skill that can be learned. And I&#39;m trying not to criticize myself so much. I am my worst critic.</p> <p>As for running, it&#39;s one of the only things that helps me feel slightly better. Even if I&#39;m not good enough for coach, it&#39;s still my outlet. But I&#39;m frustrated about things never changing. I thought that when we transitioned from cross to track we&#39;d stay true to our event groups. But I should&#39;ve known from past years that coach always puts the slow ones in the 800 group. I&#39;ve never been one of those, until now. Almost all of those slower than me have quit the team. But&nbsp;this is an opportunity most people don&#39;t get. I&#39;m still able to run and be a part of the team, and an amazing one at that.</p> <p>Anyways. I don&#39;t feel like I&#39;m needed or wanted here. But you know, that&#39;s okay. I&#39;ve decided that I&#39;ll be that person that sticks around when others don&#39;t. I&#39;ll be that person that pushes through even when it feels like the walls are closing in. I&#39;ll endure and grit it out in the hopes that a miracle will happen and that I&#39;ll have a breakthrough. And really, I&#39;m just grateful every day for being able to continue to do what I love. For such patient and understanding coaches. And for awesome teammates, even though I don&#39;t see most of them much. They&#39;re still supportive and encouraging and I love them so much.</p> Wed, 28 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Tue, Nov 27, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-27-2018.html <p>I guess I&rsquo;m in the 800 group... sigh. More on that later.</p> <p>Workout was 3x1k with 90 seconds rest and 3x400 with 30 seconds rest. It was just me and Jacey. I&rsquo;d planned out to go for 3:35 for the first one and try to hold it for all 3&nbsp;because in&nbsp;my last meeting with Coach he said I needed to be able to hold that pace, but right before we started he said several times that he wanted us to start at 3:50 and work down, that it was much better that way than dying as the workout progressed. I was confused, because I feel like I should be trying to hold and learn the pace? But okay. I&rsquo;ll do what coach wants.&nbsp;</p> <p>Started with a 3:46, it felt way too relaxed and slow. I was antsy. But it was nice to stay together with Jacey. Next one I went ham. I thought&nbsp;well, I did what coach wanted! Now it&rsquo;s time to push myself, or I&rsquo;ll never get faster. Ended up with a 3:32. I was pumped, it was on my goal pace (and coach said the range was 3:35-3:50 I think) and it didn&rsquo;t feel too bad! But I got anxious after because my muscles tightened up on the recovery&nbsp;and I didn&rsquo;t feel relaxed anymore. Tried relaxing and just running smooth. Ended with 3:42.</p> <p>Next were&nbsp;the 400s. After the third 1000, to be honest I didn&rsquo;t know how to handle the pain. I&rsquo;m not used to going fast. And I&rsquo;ve been so stressed out lately. Wanted to drop out. But forced myself to run the 400s. First was just me trying to finish. 98. Next one I was able to push myself a little, at the 200 I saw how slow it was and started getting overwhelmed. Finished with 92. Then couldn&rsquo;t breathe. I was wheezing. Don&rsquo;t know if it was asthma from the cold or just anxiety combined with an intense workout. So I didn&rsquo;t do the last one.&nbsp;</p> <p>Cooled down a mile with Jacey then 4 more with Sharlie (Angie was there too for the first half mile). 9 total for the day.&nbsp;</p> <p>Frustrated because I never feel like I&rsquo;m good enough for coach. I&rsquo;m trying so hard and I just want to be able to run with the group&nbsp;and not feel like I&rsquo;m sub par. Coach and Paul both seemed happy with my 3:32 1k, at least I know I can run the pace I just have to work on holding it and pushing through the pain.</p> <p>When I asked coach if I was supposed to be in the 800 group (he&rsquo;d told me in our meeting a few weeks ago I&rsquo;d be doing the 5k so I assumed that meant 5k group) he said this 800 group is for those that he is trying to develop, plus the 800 runners, because he wants to keep the other group together. And obviously I&rsquo;m not an 800 runner. I&rsquo;m just sad and frustrated because it feels like I&rsquo;m never going to be good enough for coach. I&rsquo;ve been trying for 2.5 years of running here&nbsp;to be good enough. And I just feel like I&rsquo;m so slow and I&rsquo;m fighting it and trying to become confident because I&rsquo;ve always struggled with self-esteem since before I can remember.&nbsp;But I know that&nbsp;when I do have confidence in myself, that&rsquo;s when I&rsquo;ve had amazing races and great workouts, and to be honest that&rsquo;s when I&rsquo;ve been able to excel at anything I set my mind to not just running.&nbsp;But&nbsp;I am improving and I&rsquo;ve had some promising workouts, and I&rsquo;ve had some major setbacks due to injury and time off for my mission so I&rsquo;m pushing through and eventually, hopefully, I&rsquo;ll finally&nbsp;have a breakthrough.&nbsp;</p> <p>It was good to talk to Jacey. She reminded me that Morgan is the exception for women who return from missions, and me, too. That every other RM has quit&nbsp;or just not come back, none seeing really any success. Morgan&rsquo;s killing it and well, at least I&rsquo;m still here.</p> <p>It was also good to talk to Sharlie. She said that for 3 years she hadn&rsquo;t improved either, she struggled and worked hard. Thinned out and managed nutrition better but nothing major changed,&nbsp;then one day she ran a 4:20 1500 and it didn&rsquo;t feel that difficult and she&rsquo;s been fast ever since. I&rsquo;m gonna hold out the hope that it&rsquo;ll happen for me, too. I&rsquo;ve thinned out too, I&rsquo;m eating a lot better than my freshman year, and I&rsquo;m working as hard as I can. One day it&rsquo;ll pay off. Hopefully. And if not, at least I&rsquo;ll know I gave it my all and I&rsquo;ll be grateful for the opportunity I had to run in college.&nbsp;</p> Tue, 27 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Mon, Nov 26, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-26-2018.html <p>7:47 average. Didn&rsquo;t feel great but it was nice to be back in Cedar</p> <p>Sometimes it&rsquo;s&nbsp;hard to stay positive and relax when so much rides on being fast. My scholarship is most likely going to be lowered or cut after this year because I&rsquo;m not fast enough. I understand why, they have to secure recruits and build up the program, but sometimes when I&rsquo;m really sad&nbsp;I&nbsp;wonder if it&rsquo;s even worth staying if it does get lowered or cut. Which it seems like it will. I love it here so much, I want to keep running and working towards my dreams, I want to improve off of my high school times but if coach is just letting me stay because he&rsquo;s kind and wants to give everyone an opportunity but doesn&rsquo;t really believe I&rsquo;ll amount to anything, then why stay? He&rsquo;s been telling me for over a year to look at my options, see if this is really what I want to do. It has been. That&rsquo;s why I&rsquo;ve stuck around for 2.5 years, even when it&rsquo;s&nbsp;hard. It still is what I want to do.&nbsp;It&rsquo;s still the best option for me. I think.</p> <p>But doubt always creeps back in when&nbsp;I remember coach continually telling me I can&rsquo;t travel if I&rsquo;m not on pace, my scholarship will most likely&nbsp;be cut, that I have to keep up&nbsp;with the other group if I want to travel but how am I going to do that if I&rsquo;m not even given the chance to train with them?&nbsp;Sometimes I just wish the stress would go away. If I could just relax and have fun while I&rsquo;m here, I wouldn&rsquo;t have an issue. I&rsquo;m just tired of stressing about being good enough for coach. I&rsquo;m tired of trying to prove that I&rsquo;m worth something. I&rsquo;m tired of trying to save my scholarship. I&rsquo;m tired of watching all my friends quit and move on to other things and being the lone wolf in this group that doesn&rsquo;t measure up.&nbsp;And I&rsquo;m tired of always wishing for something I don&rsquo;t have, like being a top runner that doesn&rsquo;t have to worry about those things.&nbsp;</p> <p>I don&rsquo;t know how to fix it, or even if I can. I guess all I can do is be grateful for what I do have let whatever happens, happen. Try not to let it worry me so much and just push through, endure, do what I can.</p> Mon, 26 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Sat, Nov 24, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-24-2018.html <p>Ran in&nbsp;the snowy forest again :) I am so sore, which is so weird? My hip flexors are especially tight</p> Sat, 24 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Fri, Nov 23, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-23-2018.html <p>Slow run again. Too slippery to go 50% pace&nbsp;without risking injury. Took it easy so I could have more control&nbsp;and it felt really nice. My calves are really sore, I think from the slight adjustment in my stride to accommodate. 8:13 average</p> Fri, 23 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Thu, Nov 22, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-22-2018.html <p>9 miles in the forest, so pretty! I love Island Park. It was slow because of the snow, but it was so nice to relax and enjoy the scenery. 8:00 average</p> Thu, 22 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Wed, Nov 21, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-21-2018.html <p>Wasatch + VA loop, 7:18 average</p> Wed, 21 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Tue, Nov 20, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-20-2018.html <p>7:24 average</p> Tue, 20 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Mon, Nov 19, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-19-2018.html <p>Main Street. Started with Jacey, got faster each mile. Jacey turned after just over a mile because she wasn&#39;t feeling well. Miles were 7:49, 7:23, 6:54, 6:46, 6:34. Cedar is a hill so the first 2 miles uphill, next 2 downhill, last one fairly flat. 7:05 average</p> <p>I didn&#39;t mean to go fast, it just kind of&nbsp;happened.</p> Mon, 19 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Sat, Nov 17, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-17-2018.html <p>7:34 average</p> Sat, 17 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Fri, Nov 16, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-16-2018.html <p>I was tired today. 7:32 average</p> Fri, 16 Nov 2018 07:00:00 Thu, Nov 15, 2018 http://sarahsargent.fastrunningblog.com/blog-11-15-2018.html <p>Didn&rsquo;t look at pace or distance. Just ran until I felt better. 7:02 average</p> Thu, 15 Nov 2018 07:00:00