Today I decided to mix it up. I went over to Sugarhouse park and did a lap, then along 1300 E out and back taking 1700 S back home.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the trauma I endured 5 years ago (I've been working through it in therapy recently, something that probably should've happened a long time ago). Now that I'm working through it in therapy, I naturally want to share what happened and find my voice. But what do you do when sharing such information can damage someone's reputation and, because they are mentally unstable (someone who does what he did must be) and unpredictable, what if it places me in danger? But at the same time, speaking out about it could help protect other young girls. Do I leave it as is and continue on with my life leaving that in the past, or do I speak out for those who haven't yet found their voice, or who think they're alone? I know for a fact I'm not the only girl that has had an incident with him, both of the other girls transferred high schools. I don't think anyone's ever went as far as mine did, though.
The problem is that if I share it publicly, people I know also know him. I'd reckon several on this blog know him, or of him. Do I have an obligation to keep quiet about it because it doesn't just involve my personal experience, but those of others? I have to think about his family, friends, people who care about him. And even him, this information leaked would destroy him. And I don't know if I'm capable of doing that- I've already felt like enough of this was my fault even though I know it's not, but that guilt could follow me around for years.
It has already been reported to DCFS. My therapist was required to report it, so that if something were to happen in the future either with me or another girl, it would be on file and could back up any claims. I also know he was fired from East High a year or so after I graduated, though I don't know why. So really, all action that can be taken has been. Or so I believe, I really don't know. My therapist is convinced I'm not the only one either. She told me Monday that the DCFS worker was shocked by this case. It is pretty crazy if I think of it from an outsiders perspective. And even more crazy that it happened to me, in my neighborhood, in my high school. You hear of it happening to others. But you never expect it to happen to yourself.
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