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April 28, 2024

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Location:

Millcreek,UT,

Member Since:

Jun 21, 2011

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

800m- 2:23

1600m- 5:10

1 Mile- 5:12

3200m-11:03

XC 3 mile-17:55

XC 5k- 19:00

XC 6k- 22:25

Local 5k- 18:42

Local 10k- 41:31

Local 15k- 1:03:55

Unofficial Half (2020)- 1:45:46

Official Half (2021)- 1:49:28

60% (5 miles)- 32:32 (6:30 average)

80% (3 miles)- 18:52 (6:17 average)

16x400s- 82.0 average

20x400s- 82.6 average

SUU Road Race- 23:30 (3.9 miles/6:02 average)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Get up to 45-50 miles/week

Run a sub-19:30 5k again

Train for and race a half marathon

Long-Term Running Goals:

18:45 or under 5k

Run a marathon

Personal:

26 years old, not married, no kids. Going against the norm in Utah.

Mental health advocate, LGBTQ+ rights supporter. Newly identified bisexual woman. Ex-mormon

Former college runner for Southern Utah University

Current Employment and Community Engagement Manager at a special needs company called Atlas Advocacy Services.

Favorite Blogs:

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Adidas Distancestar Spikes Lifetime Miles: 3.00
Adidas Boston 7 Lifetime Miles: 430.33
Nike Pegasus 34 Lifetime Miles: 493.60
Nike Pegasus 34 II Lifetime Miles: 365.31
Nike Pegasus 36 Lifetime Miles: 480.43
Nike Pegasus 36 II Lifetime Miles: 319.00
Nike Pegasus 37 Lifetime Miles: 188.01
New Balance FuelCore Nergize V1 (walking) Lifetime Miles: 219.85
Nike Pegasus Turbo Lifetime Miles: 31.68
Total Distance
4.00

I've had this newfound understanding that I am in charge of my own health. As I was thinking about what one of the neurologists said regarding my depression and memory loss, I realized that I do have some control over my health. When you have a diagnosis that will stick with you for your whole life that indicates illness rather than health, it's hard to believe that you will ever be truly healthy. But as I was running today I realized that I have the choice to be healthy by actively doing things that will improve my health, such as running. It's in the small things. I could choose not to take my meds which would trigger a deep dive into depression, which could potentially end in suicide. Or I could choose not to even take that risk and take my medication every day religiously. I could also do other things to help improve my health like running, going to therapy, practicing mindfulness, and practicing other strategies learned in therapy like wise mind. 

Remembering what my therapist said on Wednesday, I am encouraged by the progress I have made. But I do realize that I still have a ways to go before I'd say I'm a master of my own health.

I notice that it's the little things that get abandoned first when a deep depressive episode starts. Things like brushing my teeth and doing laundry promptly rather than waiting until I'm desperate for clothes. Then it progresses to not showering, then to not eating. And all of these behaviors have one thing in common: I don't care enough about myself to take care of myself. And so, over the next month I'm going to ask myself the question: "Is this taking care of myself?" before I make a decision, start to do something, or neglect doing something. I know I can work on maintaining my own health, which I think most people don't have to think twice about but for me it's something I have to take extra care to do.

Nike Pegasus 36 II Miles: 4.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Comments
From Sasha Pachev on Sun, Dec 13, 2020 at 15:52:43 from 72.250.218.114

I like this line of thinking. I think if you stick to it you will see very good results.

I think it is important to understand what is in your control and what is not, and not beat yourself up for things that are not. When I first started running marathons, I had some confusion about the matter. I would plan the great things I would do at mile 20, and then when I got there I found myself not only physically incapable, but also very down mentally. I could understand the physical, but I wondered what happened to me. I was not myself. How could somebody who had the faith in God, who had the discipline to go out in any weather under any circumstance and run grueling workouts be so mentally weak? Over the course of the years I learned that what you see as your mental toughness and strength has a lot to do with your body chemistry at the moment. You still have the same faith and inner desire to win, but now it takes every bit of it to just put one foot in front of the other as opposed to comfortably running your goal pace just half an hour earlier.

So I began to prepare myself mentally for that moment focusing on things that I could control. I told myself to be ready to make pace goal adjustments every mile, to see just moving forward and covering a little bit of distance as a positive, and to do my best to not dwell on the overwhelming negative thoughts. In the time of distress and confusion to be faithful to my normal self. Most important, while still doing my very best to run the fastest I could under the circumstance at the same time to be at peace with God's will.

I believe this approach - while seemingly coming from an unrelated area - has a merit in applying to a clinical chemical depression. The idea is that when you have a clear window of thought, you make a realistic plan for what you are going to do for the periods of darkness. Set some very basic goals that you know you can reach, and then celebrate reaching them, play it up, regardless of how modest they have been. This is where I got the idea of sub-2:00 quarter daily. Maybe call it "outrun the darkness" quarter. This is not to say that if on some dark day you try it, and it does not happen, that you failed. Rather, if on any day you found the ability, you succeeded, and if it did not happen by chance, then we are back to the drawing board to invent a different plan.

From Sarah! on Tue, Dec 15, 2020 at 16:59:51 from 73.63.54.46

Thank you Sasha! I will have to be thinking of some smaller goals to achieve so that I can celebrate achieving them when life gets hard. In running as well as other areas. I also think you’re right about needing to remember that there are some variables out of your control. I will definitely keep that in mind so as not to get discouraged when things don’t go to plan. As long as I’m trying and doing my best, that’s all I can ask. Thank you for your thorough explanation! It’s really, really helpful :)

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